When will it end

Sometimes I find it hard to see the light
It's been about a month since J died and it's not getting any easier
Every day is a struggle
Little things bug me
I'm finding it really hard to deal with family, mostly E, she has a habit of making random remarks which she probably doesn't mean anything by but I can't help but take them to heart at the moment.
Everything hurts
Getting out of bed is a struggle
Even dealing with Kitty can be a challenge
When will it all end
When will the tears stop
Everyone else seems to be moving on
Everyone is enjoying looking at photos, relieving memories
I can't do it
I can't take the looking back
It swallows me deeper into this big hole
I am consumed by emotion
When will I see the light

Grief

It hits like a sledge hammer to the heart
It knocks the wind out of your body
It knocks the light out
Everything is dark

You don't know what to do
How to feel
How to act
You wonder if it will ever be right again

Your world-view gets twisted
Does it even matter?
Does anything even matter?
Why are you still here when the other person isn't?
Why were they taken?

You get angry
At DEATH
At the world
At everything

People around you continue on with their lives
How?
Why?

People laugh
How?
Why?

There is nothing there
Nothing inside
Nothing but a pit of darkness
A pit of sad

Then something reminds you of the person
And sometimes it makes you smile
A song
Sometimes it makes you cry
An item of clothing
Sometimes it makes you confused about whether you want to smile or cry
An idea

You know eventually it will get better
Eventually
You cling to this thought with all your might
It won't always be like this

Slowly
Slowly
Slowly
It will get better