21

 I meant to post this ages ago but hey... here it is.

so here i am, a week out from 21,
working for my mother,
living alone,
sleeping alone,
i don't know where to go,
i don't know if what i'm doing is right,
does this continue,
will i continue
will i work for mum for the rest of time?
or follow my dreams and travel
i wish to travel
to perform, maybe
to rig, maybe
i wish to see, to taste, to smell.
i want the girl
maybe i should study, again
as i have grown i have gotten wiser, i have discovered myself more and more. i am still not entirely sure of me but i am learning. i am learning who i am with and wothout others, with and without a partner. i am learning my interests, my likes, my dislikes. living alone has taught me a lot about me, about how i deal in times of stress and distress. i have learnt not to let anyone try to change me but to let myself change when ready. to push the change never works it must happen in time. that quote "be the change you want to see" seomes to me at this point in my thoights, certain lifestyle choices can change quickly but seeing it on a larger scale still takes time and can't be forced just like in yourself. i have been out for nearly four years and have noticed the change happening in others when given time, it can take years but it can happen. There are quite a few things that i've had happen in my lifr that i'm proud of, coming out is one, living in a different city another, as well as living alone. The last is something i never thought would happen. Coming out is probably the biggest thing that has ever happened in my life and after i did i felt amazing (most of the time) certain people had issues with it but it's my life and made me happy, now i feel my life really only started after this point.
There are a few things i wish i could redo, such as CircoArts, i feel since i was first doing these things i have grown up and would be better able to take advantage of the opportunities given to me. Ahhh hindsight's a bitch. i'm looking forward to the year ahead, and all the opportunities it may bring, and where it may take me.
                                                  HERE'S TO THE FUTURE!!